Fuck Yeah Alcibiades

Statesman. Cad. BAMF.

Alcibiades’ Death

At the time, Alcibiades was living in a village in Phrygia, and he had Timandra the courtesan with him. One night he had a dream in which he was dressed in Timandra’s clothes, and she was cradling his head in her arms while she made up his face like a woman’s with eyeliner and white lead.

The men sent to kill him did not dare to enter the house, but surrounded it and set it on fire. When Alcibiades noticed the fire, he picked up nearly all his clothes and bedding, threw them onto the flames, and then, wrapping his cloak around his left arm and holding his drawn dagger in his right hand, he dashed out of the house before the clothing caught fire.

He was unharmed by the fire, and when the foreign assassins saw him they scattered.

Not one of them stood his ground against him or came up to fight him hand to hand; they kept their distance and hurled javelins and fired arrows at him instead. So this is how he met his death.

After the assassins had left, Timandra collected his body for burial. She wrapped her own clothes around the body to cover it, and gave him the most splendid and ambitious funeral she could under the circumstances. 

(excerpts from Plutarch, Life of Alcibiades 39)

necspenecmetu:

Christoffer Wilhelm Eckersberg, Socrates and Alcibiades, c. 1813-6

necspenecmetu:

Christoffer Wilhelm Eckersberg, Socrates and Alcibiades, c. 1813-6

He who has suffered is willing to talk to his fellow-sufferers only, as they alone will be likely to understand him.

Alcibiades, The Symposium (via myancientworld)

Daring Alcibiades to do stuff

Hipponicus, the father of Callias, was, thanks to his wealth and lineage, a well-known and influential man, but Alcibiades once punched him without having any real reason - such as anger or a quarrel - to do so, but just for fun, because he had made a bet with his friends that he would.

This preposterous action became the talk of the town, and everyone of course shared the common feeling of outrage, but early the next day Alcibiades went to Hipponicus’ house and knocked on the door.

Once he had gained admission to his presence, he took off his cloak, exposing his body, and told Hipponicus to thrash him in punishment. But Hipponicus calmed down and forgave him, and later let him marry his daughter Hipparete. 

(Plutarch Life of Alcibiades 8)

Alcibiades vs. Chuck Norris

Alcibiades was the Chuck Norris of Classical Greece. He could convince anyone of anything.

If Chuck Norris fought at Thermopylae, the film would be called “1”

If Alcibiades fought at Thermopylae, the city of Athens would gain a million extra soldiers.

INDEED.

(but bear in mind he fought at Potidaea, got wounded, and only survived because Socrates stayed with him and kicked the ass of anyone who came near.)

Anonymous asked: Don't you love how Alcibiades absolutely destroyed Nicias in Thucydides' Book 6?

OHHHHH yeah.

Nicias is like “you guys maybe it would be difficult to go with the resources we have and -“

and Alcibiades is like “get your scraggly ass off this pnyx Nicias WHO’S THE MF’ING KING OF THIS TOWN?”

answer: it is him

upjumpedthedevil asked: What a wonderful Tumblr I have come across!

THANK YOU, DEAR READER. Though I cannot claim to be making it wonderful, as that is all Alcibiades <3

HERM OF THE DAY

HERM OF THE DAY

Anonymous asked: Re: that last post. Okay I'm really asking for it and I haven't read Plato not really or done my research but come oooon Plato was a politician and there had to be some exaggeration/propaganda going on in his stuff. Not that Alcie wasn't nuts.

Ah well, Plato was a political philosopher rather than a politician! The Symposium was written while running his Academy, after many years of living away from Athens, and twenty or so years after Alcibiades’ death, so he wouldn’t have any political reason to exaggerate anything he did.

But yes, you’re quite right that this particular passage is exaggerated for comedic effect - in context, Alcibiades has just asked Socrates why he is sharing a couch with Agathon, the best looking dude in the room, rather than anyone else, and Socrates jokingly complains to Agathon. (Alcibiades’ part of the Symposium is from section 212d onwards, if you’d like to read on!)

As for the rest of his (fictionalised) characterisation in Plato as a drunken, promiscuous, Socrates-fancying bamf… it is difficult to tell how exaggerated it is, considering it’s pretty much the same across all his primary sources!

(note that philosophy isn’t my strong point, so feel free to submit more on the subject if you’re a classicist who knows their shit better than I do! :) )

Socrates turned to Agathon and said: ‘I must ask you to protect me, Agathon; for the passion of this man has grown quite a serious matter to me. Since I became his admirer I have never been allowed to speak to any other fair one, or so much as to look at them. If I do, he goes wild with envy and jealousy, and not only abuses me but can hardly keep his hands off me, and at this moment he may do me some harm. Please to see to this, and either reconcile me to him, or, if he attempts violence, protect me, as I am in bodily fear of his mad and passionate attempts.’

—Socrates on Alcibiades (Plato’s Symposium)

(Contains Alcibiades!)

(Contains Alcibiades!)

Alcibiades vs. Pericles

The following dialogue between Alcibiades and Pericles, Athenian general is recounted by Xenophon in Memorabilia.

Alcibiades: Please, Pericles, can you teach me what a law is?

Pericles: To be sure I can.

Alcibiades: I should be so much obliged if you would do so. One so often hears the epithet ‘law-abiding’ applied in a complimentary sense; yet, it strikes me, one hardly deserves the compliment, if one does not know what a law is.

Pericles: Fortunately there is a ready answer to your difficulty. You wish to know what a law is? Well, those are laws which the majority, being met together in conclave, approve and enact as to what it is right to do, and what it is right to abstain from doing.

Alcibiades: Enact on the hypothesis that it is right to do what is good? or to do what is bad?

Pericles: What is good, to be sure, young sir, not what is bad.

Alcibiades: Supposing it is not the majority, but, as in the case of an oligarchy, the minority, who meet and enact the rules of conduct, what are these?

Pericles: Whatever the ruling power of the state after deliberation enacts as our duty to do, goes by the name of laws.

Alcibiades: Then if a tyrant, holding the chief power in the state, enacts rules of conduct for the citizens, are these enactments law?

Pericles: Yes, anything which a tyrant as head of the state enacts, also goes by the name of law.

Alcibiades: But, Pericles, violence and lawlessness ’ how do we define them? Is it not when a stronger man forces a weaker to do what seems right to him ’ not by persuasion but by compulsion?

Pericles: I should say so.

Alcibiades: It would seem to follow that if a tyrant, without persuading the citizens, drives them by enactment to do certain things ’ that is lawlessness?

Pericles: You are right; and I retract the statement that measures passed by a tyrant without persuasion of the citizens are law.

Alcibiades: And what of measures passed by a minority, not by persuasion of the majority, but in the exercise of its power only? Are we, or are we not, to apply the term violence to these?

Pericles: I think that anything which any one forces another to do without persuasion, whether by enactment or not, is violence rather than law.

Alcibiades: It would seem that everything which the majority, in the exercise of its power over the possessors of wealth, and without persuading them, chooses to enact, is of the nature of violence rather than of law?

To be sure (answered Pericles), adding: At your age we were clever hands at such quibbles ourselves. It was just such subtleties which we used to practise our wits upon; as you do now, if I mistake not.

To which Alcibiades replied: Ah, Pericles, I do wish we could have met in those days when you were at your cleverest in such matters.